Instead of a normal blog post today, I decided to just jot down my feelings as they come out. Not sure exactly what is about to come out... But I'm setting a timer and here we go.
Turning 40 is a huge milestone in my life. There were times that I didn't think I would make it to 21, more less 40. I swallowed a nickel in Kindergarten... I was sure I was gone.
Moments leading up to my birthday I was in tears. Nothing was wrong... I just had a lot of emotions behind the event of a birthday.
I've grown so much over the course of the years. I used to be extremely shy... imagine that. I didn't want to take any pictures because I suffered from low self esteem. Now I love the camera, and I love talking to people.
God will use the thing that troubles you the most to bring you a revelation. Being from Scottsboro I had a real southern drawl when in came to speaking. I didn't want to speak in front of others. I was often called "Forrest Gump." Now, people pay me to hear my voice. God, I thank Ya!
My Family is my heart. I love being a husband and father. Although most days I probably get it wrong... but at least I'm there. My family has held me together through some of the most challenging times of my life. My wife Anita is amazing. She gets me. The full version of me. I love her!
LOSING A PARENT IS HARD. I WILL FOREVER LOVE MY MOTHER AND GRANNY. The pain never goes away... you just find new ways to manage it. I know I have made them both proud. They told me that when they were alive.
My Aunt Rhonda has been my consistent rock. She's always had my brothers and I best interest at heart. She's a huge factor behind me going so hard. She pushed us!
My brothers! Nick, Matt, Sky, Paul, and Shingin. I love you guys. You all know the struggle. You know where we come from. Thanks for being the support, and fight that I needed.
I have a sister. Like a real sister. Growing up it was always Edna Ruth's Boys... little did I know that ancestry.com would reveal that I have a sister. A 100% match sister on my father's side. Meeting her has been a life changer. It's another avenue for me to share and show love. It's only been 6 months, but we've grown and learned about each other in a short amount of time. My kids adore her.
My friends are My friends. I hear people say, you can only have one best friend. I don't buy into that. I have MANY best friends... or friends that I am really close with. I've been in close to 30 weddings... LOL. My friends know the huge emphasis I place on friendship. They allow me a safe space to process and I love them for it.
Superintendent Lee- I've only been in Talladega City since July 1st, but I love it. It's a great place of hope and promise. It was hard leaving my previous position, but it was time. I've grown as a leader and will continue to grow. We've experienced growth and a positive change already. I get to work with some amazing people.
The biggest change of this year going into 40 has been finding my father. I still can't believe it most days. It's been one of the most humbling and overwhelming things to experience. Prayers I prayed at 13 were answered years later. I thought they day would never come, but God had other plans. Finding my father took me on a journey. It uncovered so many other areas of my life where I needed healing. Finding him, helped me find myself. Although there are questions that I still have, and the story I put together in my mind didn't necessarily happen... I have peace.
Things I've learned about my father: I look like him, like a lot, he's silly (maybe that's where I got it from), he doesn't care too much about sports either (YES!), he's a hard worker, and he's proud of me. We talk several times throughout the week. It's still a learning process and we are both learning. Explaining this situation to Cass and Aniya has helped in more ways than one.
I pray we continue to learn and grow.
I'm done with my rambling for today. There's so much more I want to say, but I must get ready to go celebrate 40 in Mexico. We are about to go head out for an excursion.
Thanks for reading my thoughts. I appreciate the support.
More is on the way from Dr. Lee.
