I absolutely love celebrating birthdays. It's a great joy to be able to celebrate another accomplishment of living for a full 365 days. There are so many people that aren't able to make it from year to year. If you are fortunate enough to celebrate a birthday, I believe you should celebrate it to the fullest. In celebrating birthdays, I make it a deal to celebrate everyone that is around me as well. I celebrate my family, my friends, my co-workers, my students, and even my church family. This year on June 2, I get to celebrate a birthday that I have never celebrated before... My Father's Birthday. Happy Birthday Pops.
I decided to go down and spend part of the day with him on Memorial Day. I wasn't able to go on his birthday due to a preplanned trip. I looked forward to the day, even though I was anxious. To catch the new readers up to standard, I just discovered my father on March 9th of this year. It's been quite the story, a good story, but a story. I don't know why I was anxious during the visit. I've visited him several times before. In writing this blog, I think I've discovered the cause of my anxiety. I have developed feelings for my father. The first time I've acknowledged it publicly.
Every single time I am around my father, I find myself like a little 5 year old kid. I hang on to his every word. I love listening to his stories, and laughing at his jokes. I do at least see where I got my sense of humor from. I honestly love being in his presence. It's extremely weird. Society says that I should be bitter, but I haven't been bitter at all during this process. Don't get me wrong, there are some times that are extremely rough, but bitterness is not a characteristic that I would use to describe my feelings.
I arrived at my father's home and was greeted by he and my stepmother. They are so funny to watch. They love each other, but can give each other the blues. I sat in the living room and talked to him for almost 2 hours straight. I guess I get my talking genes from both my mother and my father. I wanted to take him out to eat for his birthday. We went to a buffet spot that he suggested. He went there with my grandmother, so I knew it would be good.
We ate extremely good. Chinese buffet has a way to my heart. I was walking through the buffet line and became extremely emotional. I was smiling hard for no apparent reason. Well, the reason was that I was out eating with my father. It's the small things for me. I had the honor of taking my father out to eat for his birthday. NEVER had I ever imagined that it would happen. But God allowed it to happen.
While we ate, I looked him dead in his face and we had a full out conversation. It's like I've known him my whole life. Honestly, there were moments where I almost got sad at all that he's missed in my life, but the hope of what can happen in the future outweighs the bad. The meal was wonderful. We laughed and shared a moment that I will never forget.
After lunch we stopped by to visit his mother which is my grandmother, and his sister, my aunt. The meeting was the icing on the cake. As soon as I pulled up, my grandmother said, "the more you hang around, the more you all look alike." I've heard that a million times in a short amount of time. My grandmother is full of wisdom. We talked about family and life. Her and my aunt actually applauded me for my efforts in being there for my father. Reunions like this rarely have a great ending... my experience has been extremely positive so far.
After sitting around for about an hour, I had to get on the road to come back home. I didn't want to leave. I was sad when I pulled out of the driveway. I felt the same feeling that I use to feel when I would leave my grandmother's house when she was alive some 15 years ago.
To wrap up my thoughts...
Happy Birthday Pops. Discovering about you has been a piece of my heart that I needed restored. Thanks for accepting me from day 3... he hung up on me the first day I called... LOL. You've been there with opened arms since March 13th when I first felt the hug of my father. I pray longevity and life upon you. We have a lot of catching up to do. I pray that God continues to mend the bond and that you and I share, as well as my BOSS sister Shell.
I have a Father!